Quoth the Raven

Quoth the Raven

I wasn’t meant to be.
Yet here I am.
I only remembered fuzzy but aggressive memories of pain, loneliness and sorrow. White liquid slowly pouring down onto me as my body metamorphosed into an almost-perfect twin.
Then I got pulled out.
My first breath was shaky, and I opened my eyes to stare into those feline pupils, filled with shock and tears. She propped me up against a wall and felt my stitches, somewhat reluctant to touch them, as if they were to split open once she did. She had the movement of a child, yet she didn’t look like one at all. I silently watched as she stretched out black wings on my shoulders, swishing a brown tail as she did so.
It was then that I realized I had tears running down my off-white face, yet I didn’t know anything to cry about.

My Master named me Nevermore and that was that.
I wasn’t even matured when I realized there was something wrong with my master. At nights when I sat silently crying in the center of the room I can usually hear her laughing in her sleep, but that wasn’t tonight. At first she was laughing, but it eventually turned into a whimper. Tears came to her eyes as she moaned; “Go away…” which eventually rose into a scream.
“Master...?” I whispered hoarsely. It was my first word ever spoken. I crawled slowly over to her and tried to rouse her. She opened her eyes slowly and glared at me. “Nevy!” she said. “Why’d you wake me up?! I was having a good dream!” she giggled, sat up, and began to twirl her arms. Her eyes were crazed.
“Then why’d you scream?”
She stared at me as if I was as crazed as her eyes. “I didn’t scream.”
I looked at her helplessly. She was suppressing the memory of something, but what?

I decided it was finally time to figure out why my master had no interest in the life she lived while she was awake. She liked to dream. But I was too naïve to realize that not all dreams were the same.
When I fell into a dark sleep I regretted it.
I didn’t remember the dream that well. But I remember torrents of feelings that I felt at the moment of my birth. I felt internal pain, and screamed and fought.
When I woke up I finally found one reason to cry.

I wept for days. I was afraid of sleeping ever since.
My master was getting restless.
One fateful night came when she crawled toward me and pinned me up against the wall.
“Master what are you doing--!!!”
Her eyes were dull, as if she cleansed all feelings of hesitation from her. “It’s for the best.” But it was still in her voice.
“Master…!!! MASTER!!!”
Her hand went toward my chest. “I don’t want you to suffer anymore.”
“MASTER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!! MASTER!!!” I screeched, struggling, but my master’s touch held me down. I didn’t want to hurt her.
Her hand went deeper into my chest.
“MASTER!!! MASTER!!! WHAT ARE YOU-“
I blacked out.

I entered a dreaming state, although I wasn’t aware that I was dreaming until I was about to wake. I felt different. I felt cleansed of all the emotions I felt before.
But I felt like I had the whole world on my shoulders. I couldn’t move my arms, but they streamed in black ink, cascading into a pure white abyss below me. I was floating above it.
The air was eerie, and I felt something broken, disjointed, and cracked.
“Master…?” I whisper into the nothingness. “What did you do to me?”

I woke up on my side, my eyes dry of all tears, but I could still hear someone weeping. I moved my eyes toward the figure of my master, whose hands were covering her face, her body wracking with sobs. “…Master?” I said softly. At this she abruptly stopped and her hands left her face. “Nevy…? You’re alive…?” My eyes wandered to her hands, my black blood was smeared all over them.
I looked at my chest and slowly sat up. A strange heart-shaped hole was there, and it was still rimmed with blood. “Forgive me Nevy….I thought you were suffering…” She started crying again and wrapped her arms around me. I didn’t return the embrace. My arms wouldn’t move. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I lost something that day. I was devoid of emotions.
I didn’t know how to love anymore.

That night my master didn’t sleep. She stood over my sleeping body, of me dreaming the same dream. “I finally found a purpose for you Nevy.” She said, her voice reaching into my dreams. “You shall have an uncontrollable desire to protect love and justice. Promise me you will do that.”
I opened my eyes in the dream. It took me a while to respond in my sleep.
“I…I…”
“….”
“I promise.”